Delima

Weight: 261.25

This morning started great, but within hours I was met with a temptation challenge. Its up to interpretation whether I succeeded or failed...

I had the kids with me this weekend. Erin was due to pick them up at 9am. I'd been up since 5am with 9-month old Preston. All was well... I weighed myself, took my vitamin, cooked 1/2 cup of oatmeal, drank one-cup of skim milk. When Erin showed up to pick up our kids she had a jalapeno kalache in hand!!! One of my FAVORITE foods in the world. As she handed the bag to me I said, "Oh no! I'm on a diet!". I set the kolache on my desk and tried to forget about it. Thankfully she only bought one, because I usually eat three at one time. Within 30-minutes of the kids leaving I convinced myself that it was "okay" to eat ONE kolache, all I needed to do was make some adjustments later. And so it was, I ate the kolache. It was good. A quick web search revealed that one Shipley's kolache has 326 calories!!! I was SHOCKED at how high it was. That is almost equivalent to a small burger! URGGGG. I have a good knowledge of caloric values for most foods from years of dieting. My guess was 150-220. Boy was I wrong!

Seeing that number was enough motivation to get me out the door. I went mountain biking for ~35 minutes. It was a nice ride, albeit humid. I literally forced myself to cut the ride short. Instead of going crazy in the beginning and dropping off weeks later, I want to try and keep my cardio fun, and easy, yet maintainable. The ride was a success, because it didn't seem like a chore. The bike ride was followed with a 30-minute mid-body workout consisting of:

3 x 14 crunches
3 x 10 side bends 15#
3 x 10 dumbbell press 30#
3 x 10 dumbbell flyes 10#
3 x 10 incline press 20#
3 x 10 dumbbell roll 15#
3 x 10 upright rowing 10#
3 x 10 dead lift 20#

This was an "angry workout", which made it all that much better. Let me back up a bit.
Erin, my wife of 7-years left me four days before Christmas last year. I've been lost without her ever since. The divorce has been hard on me. I am an emotional eater, hence the excessive weight gain. Luckily, Erin and I have managed to be friends through most of this... until today. Lots of inconsistent stories over the weekend, which I immediately picked up on.

What I know to be true is she picked up the kids this morning and immediately took them to a friends house and left them there. Then she thought it would be funny to send me a phone picture of her and the guy she is seeing. Needless to say, I'm struggling with this. I love Erin more than she will ever know and the demise of our marriage is still unclear... other than her saying "I just don't want to be married anymore". Anyways, today was hard. On a positive note, instead of turning to fast food or the refrigerator, I took my frustration out in the weight room and I actually feel a tiny bit better.

As for the food; Oatmeal, and skim milk for breakfast. Lunch was a frozen "skillet" (meal in a bag) that I had in the freezer. The skillet meal and kolache was a large amount of today's calories. Early dinner was one and a half turkey sandwiches on wheat bread and one orange. I crumbled under the stress of today's issues, but I was able to keep the calories UNDER 2100. My final snack was a huge glass of water and a bag of SMART popcorn (120-calories).

It was a struggle mitigating the thoughts of binge eating. When I'm stressed and/or bored I eat. I called tons of friends to visit, but they all had plans. So, I did it on my own and feel like I succeeded.